I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
