I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
