Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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