You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
