That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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