Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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