Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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