You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
