I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
