did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize