I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
