we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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