Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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