Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How external is "for external use only"?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
