I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
