So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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