i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well I just put wine in my tea
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
