Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
