I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
