we're chasing vodka with high fives
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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