That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Still dying that you shit outside
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
