We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
