my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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