I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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