there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
