We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
