all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
