he puts the penis in happiness.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So squirting runs in the family.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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