omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
