I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am available for nakedness
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
