a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize