You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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