it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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