you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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