Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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