i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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