he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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