that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
