Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He felt like a one man threesome
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
