I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
