someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
NoShamevember. You game?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
