He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
