Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
