It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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