i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
