I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
