Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
