did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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