Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
