I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
nutella sex= disaster
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
