I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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