How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
