love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize