nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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