i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
