I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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