Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
