My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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