We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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