508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
