When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
