Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
