You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
