I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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